


God Creates

by Tortellini



Category: Christian Bible
Genre: Afterlife, Animals, Based on a Tumblr Post, Bible, Catholic, Catholic Imagery, Catholicism, Christian Holidays, Christianity, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Heaven, Heaven & Hell, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, Inspired by Twitter, Lent, Nondenominational Christian, Prompt Fic, Religion, Roman Catholicism, Spiritual, Wordcount: 100-500, Wordcount: 500-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 14:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13705929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: Lent - 2018God creates some animals for His Earth. An angel looks on (in curiosity? in concern? in amusement?).Oneshot





	God Creates

**Author's Note:**

> "For every beast of the forest is Mine, The cattle on a thousand hills."  
> Psalm 50:10-11

God was creating animals for His kingdom on Earth. Earth had already just been made. And now there needed to be life. Hands shaped everything very gently. An angel watched Him from behind. 

"So I'm just making a throat," He said. 

"Okay."

"Literally just a throat. With a face."

The angel resisted the urge to facepalm. 

What would be known as a snake looked up. Since He was God, He could understand animals in ways that a mere person could not.

"Wait, you're not done right?" the snake asked. "How am I supposed to move?"

"Like this." God shimmied. "Just like--" He shimmied again. 

The snake was not amused. 

* * *

 

"What is this?" the angel asked. God looked up from His new project. 

"It is a bee," He said, in a voice that was quiet and commanding. The 'bee' was small. Brightly colored. "...put a needle on its butt."

"Wait what?" the angel rose an eyebrow. God continued. 

"Make it puke deliciousness."

* * *

God wasn't done making bugs, it seemed. He smiled and made what could've been a million things He called 'ants'. Of course to Him, they were just a blink of His eye. And yet still, He loved them. Cared for them. 

"Okay ants! You're ready to be in the world!"

The ants cheered. "Yay!" 

God smiled. "Okay, let's make the anteater now."

The ants froze. "...the what."

* * *

Still not done making bugs, but now for something scientifically called an arachnid. God created science; He created all. The angel watched on again. 

"What would you like me to do?"

God thought about it for a short moment, before smiling. "Make it have eight legs."

"Seems excessive, but okay." Who was the angel to refuse his Master's doing?

"And eight eyes," God added. 

The angel frowned slightly. "It could frighten some of Your other creations. Maybe calm down a litt--"

"...and a butt rope."

* * *

God had made man in His holy image. Man was good. God wanted to try something else too though. 

"Shrink a gorilla and make it smart," He said to the angel. He was making a chimpanzee. 

"Okay." The angel took note. "And what sound should it make?"

"Literally just have it scream."

* * *

God needed something to eat all the bugs He made so there would still be a balance. He decided to make a bat. 

"Just like a hairy black potato with wings."

The angel stared. "Um."

"Also it sleeps upside down like an idiot."

* * *

God created things for all the bodies of water on His kingdom on Earth. He was thinking of naming something a jellyfish. 

"How about an evil bag?"

The angel left before He heard an answer. Rude.

* * *

 

"See that log?" God pointed at something. The angel squinted. 

"Yeah. You want to use that for the alligator?"

God nodded. "All you have to do is fill it with teeth."

"...uh, say again?"

* * *

 

It seemed the things in the water on Earth were dangerous. God thought carefully about His next creation. He was going to make a hippopotamus. 

"How about..." He tapped His chin. "A fat horse that's always trying to sneak up on you in the pool?"

* * *

Not everything God created was wild though. Some of the things were gentle, created for Man. 

"Make something really fluffy and adorable like little furry hugs," He commanded the angel. They were making kittens. 

The angel smiled. "That's so sweet--"

"And put razor blades on their feet."

When God decided to make dogs He realized they were the best. They made Him smile a bit sadly. 

"...I'm going to want all of these back at some point."

And He saw what He had made, and was satisfied. 

**Author's Note:**

> Since I'm Catholic and in honor of the holy season of Lent, expect a handful of Christian-themed/religious fics! <3


End file.
